How would you react if your 17-year-old son or grandson announced that he was homosexual? How would you respond if your 17-year-old daughter or granddaughter announced that she was a lesbian?
These questions are a bit disconcerting. Given today’s terribly confused society, however, they are not unwarranted. It’s probably not a bad idea to give some thought to them.
Good Catholic parents and grandparents would continue to love the individual who is experiencing same-sex attraction. They would also recognize, however, that the inclination to same-sex attraction is a disordered behavior. Sexual acts between two men or two women are sins of lust that are contrary to natural law.
But God still loves the sinful person as much as He loves the saintly person. As Catholics we can do no less. We are called to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5:48).
Casting out, ostracizing, or shunning a same-sex attracted family member would be an act devoid of all charity. It would be a loveless act. But condoning or enabling such behavior would also be an uncharitable act.
Caving In
Sadly, some parents do accept, condone, and even enable this disordered behavior. Secular society has convinced them that homosexuality is perfectly fine.
Organizations like Dignity USA, Fortunate Families, Caring Catholic Families, and PFLAG are comprised of families that have put their same-sex attracted loved ones ahead of God.
As I wrote in an article for Crisis Magazine six years ago,
“Spending some time perusing the websites of these groups should be enough to convince anyone that their agenda goes beyond educating, ministering to, giving voice to, and supporting LGBT Catholics. The goal of these organizations, whether stated or not, is nothing less than to change Catholic doctrine on homosexuality.”
Courage and Encourage
As the USCCB document “Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination: Guidelines for Pastoral Care” states:
“The discovery that a family member has homosexual tendencies can pose a serious concern for parents, siblings, and spouses. The Church reaches out to them, seeking to help ensure that the bonds of love among the family members remain intact. A helpful way of addressing this issue is through the formation of support groups for individuals and families, where they can also learn the full truth of the Church’s teaching regarding the human dignity of persons with a homosexual inclination and the moral principles regarding chastity that lead to the fullness of authentic human living.”
Two organizations that provide authentic Catholic support are Courage International and its companion organization (for the families of persons with same-sex attraction), Encourage.
Dr. Philip M. Sutton writes in an article available on the Courage website that we should “show compassion to our loved one” and “Care wisely for our loved one . . . including staying Connected to our loved one.”
At the same time, he says, we should not “condone, excuse or enable behavior that is harmful to our loved one, ourselves, or others. “Misguided mercy” is not loving!”
It Can Get Difficult
Loving a same-sex attracted son or daughter can make for a delicate balancing act. It can become especially difficult when the son or daughter announces his or her intention to enter into a same-sex ‘marriage.’
Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, the Catholic Church does not forbid Catholics from attending non-Catholic marriages. This includes same-sex unions. One reason why, as Catholic Answers (CA) Apologist Michelle Arnold has stated, may be that,
“[This] forces Catholics to take responsibility for their faith. They must evaluate a given situation and make the best decision they can in charity and using prudential judgment. They must be the ones to say, “I love you, and I wish I could witness your marriage, but my conscience will not allow it.”
Fr. Brian W. Harrison, O.S., however, says Catholics should not attend same-sex ‘weddings.” In a recent article at LifeSiteNews he wrote:
“While we should never reject or vilify a family member who enters such a union, we must always respectfully and lovingly decline the invitation to take part in their public and formal entry into a relationship that is gravely immoral.”
Children Make it More Difficult
When a baby or child comes into the picture, it can get even more difficult. However, the USCCB document “Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination” mentioned previously does provide a little guidance (under Sacraments and Worship):
“[T]he Church does not support the adoption of children by same-sex couples since homosexual unions are contrary to the divine plan.
“Baptism of children in the care of same-sex couples presents a serious pastoral concern. Nevertheless, the Church does not refuse the Sacrament of Baptism to these children, but there must be a well founded hope that the children will be brought up in the Catholic religion. In those cases where Baptism is permitted, pastoral ministers should exercise prudential judgment when preparing baptismal ceremonies. Also, in preparing the baptismal record, a distinction should be made between natural parents and adoptive parents.”
So the Church does not refuse the Sacrament of Baptism to the children of same-sex couples. However, if a same-sex couple was ‘married’ in another ecclesial community, they probably would not seek a Catholic Baptism for an adopted child. More than likely the couple would have the child Baptized in the church in which they were ‘married.’
The Catholic Church recognizes the validity of Protestant Baptisms. So the question then sometimes arises, “Should a Catholic attend the Baptism of an adopted child of a same-sex couple in a Protestant Church?”
According to the Church’s Directory on Ecumenism (98a), this is permissible. However, a Catholic cannot stand as a godparent “for a person being baptized in another ecclesial Community” just as a person from another ecclesial Community is not permitted to stand as a godparent at a Catholic Baptism.
Misguided Mercy
Unfortunately some parents, like those in the four organizations mentioned previously, do give in to “misguided mercy.” They condone and even affirm their loved ones’ same-sex relationships and unions as being good, normal, and natural. Some might even say these unions are loving, Christian relationships. They are not.
Misguided mercy is an appropriate phrase in such instances. It is misguided because parents who condone and affirm their children’s same-sex unions are denying God’s truth. They are saying, in effect, ‘God says what you are doing is wrong. But I love you and I want you to be happy. Since you are happy I’m okay with it.’
These parents are misguided because they are loving their same-sex attracted son or daughter more than they love God.
Science
LGBTQ activists are counting on science to prove that same-sex attraction is genetic. But a number of studies of identical twins have proven just the opposite.
What’s more Dr. Neil E. Whitehead, a research scientist from New Zealand (PhD in biochemistry), reviewed these studies along with all the available scientific research on the subject, in his book My Genes Made Me Do it! Homosexuality and the Scientific Evidence (the title is intentionally facetious).
Whitehead’s book is an exhaustive review of thousands of scientific papers and publications. (He has also updated the book three times since its original publication.) According to the Whitehead, “the more recent the research the more it strengthened the book’s original conclusions” that homosexuality is not genetic.
God did not create homosexuals. He also did not create kleptomaniacs or people who are greedy, slothful, or filled with hate. Homosexuality, like greed and so on, are all learned behaviors and choices.
Pushing the Agenda
The LGBTQ activists are not about to give up, however. As Robert R. Reilly wrote in his book Making Gay Okay: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior Is Changing Everything –
“Homosexual author Urvashi Vaid declared, “We have an agenda to create a society in which homosexuality is regarded as healthy, natural, and normal. To me that is the most important agenda item” (Pg. 7).
According to Pew, in 2017 a whopping 67% of Catholics approved of same-sex ‘marriage.’ So the LGBTQ activists have been successful in pushing their agenda. “Open-mindedness taken to the extreme becomes moral blindness,” is a truism that very much applies today.
Parenting has never been a cake walk. Every generation of parents has had myriad problems – outside influences – to contend with when it came to raising their children. But the many immoral outside influences our post-modern society is inflicting on children and young adults today are confusing even mature adults. Homosexuality is a major concern.
The latest attack on morality comes courtesy of FX Networks. A six part documentary called PRIDE premiered on Friday May 14. It’s billed as “A six-part documentary series chronicling the struggle for LGBTQ+ civil rights in America from the 1950s through the 2000s.” It supposedly features “heroic and heartbreaking stories that define us as a nation.”
Don’t Trip
Parents who allow their love for their same-sex afflicted son or daughter to come before their love of God are breaking the First Commandment. They may think of themselves as enlightened, but the source of their enlightenment is the devil. He’s a master of deceit and at sowing the seeds of confusion.
Fr. Jeffrey T. Kirby notes this problem in his book Real Religion.
“At times, sentiment assaults our hearts, and we are tempted to compromise with evil, to betray goodness or to redefine it. Though good and oriented toward goodness, the human heart is also fallen. It can betray itself and its own mission in our interior lives. The prophet Jeremiah rightly warns us:
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9).”
In short, don’t let your heart trip you up. Homosexuality is a disordered behavior.
For an additional short read on our culture and Church Teaching on same-sex attraction check out the article by Msgr. Charles Pope entitled “Do Not Be Deceived: Christ Forbids Homosexual Acts, and the Church Cannot Teach Otherwise.”
The post Parents Shouldn’t Love Their Same-Sex Afflicted Kids More Than God appeared first on Catholic Stand.